now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
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i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
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I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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