There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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