i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
