What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
