Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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