somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
