My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
