Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
