So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
