You work out of a Hotel?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
