Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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