I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
