Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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