a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
