she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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