I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize