We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My vagina just recognized that song.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
