A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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