i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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