so that wasnt chicken after all
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
