have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
