im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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