I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
