she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize