Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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