That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
