i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
