Need sex. Gaining weight.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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