I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
