he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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