He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
