I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
