He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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