Apparently you make a good broom.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
