But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
