You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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