I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
