i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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