Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
