I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
