He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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