why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
