Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
