good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
