I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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