Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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