Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
