dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
