its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize