His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
