I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
