Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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