You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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