sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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