her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I lost the right to judge tonight
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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