Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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