yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
