Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
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So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
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She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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