i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.