I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
