toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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