yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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