No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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