Whats the glycemic index on semen?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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