don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
